America Decides to Make a Prank Call
by JustDrinkTea
Summary: Pretty much what the title says. America doesn't have anything to do so he calls a bunch of people on his contact list. Pointless. Rated for Lovi's colorful vocabulary. One-shot


**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I'm not cool enough, apparently.**

**Omi-chan: This is what happens when I get bored. I'm sorry if I kill any brain cells. Really sorry. Actually, no, not really. You're the one who decided to read this fanfic after all, I ****didn't make you do anything. Maybe Russia did, but I'm not associated with Russia in any way *cough***

**Also, I apologize if a few sentences don't start out capitalized; my shift key is a little broken at the moment.**

_Morning... or what America likes to call morning_

America rolled over in his bed to look at the clock. At the sight of the red numbers reading 12:10, America groaned and rolled back over, burying his face in his pillow. "I'm still tired," he said to himself, his voice muffled by the pillow. "I wanna go back to bed..."

He thought for a moment before continuing his complaints. "But I'm hungry." With the subject of food now fresh in his mind, the nation was more eager to get up, not that that was saying much. Without looking up, he groped around his nightstand, looking for his glasses.

_Clock, wrapper, book, wrapper, spare change, clock again, cell phone, glasses!_

America set his head down on his chin and slid the glasses onto the bridge of his nose, blinking several times as the world suddenly became clearer. Then, he rolled over once more, planning only to make it to the edge of the bed so he could take his sweet time getting up. What _really_ happened, however, was he had an unexpected meeting with his bedroom floor as he tumbled off the side.

"...owwwww."

_1:04 PM_

America sat at his dining room table, his chin resting on his arm while he tapped random rhythms into the wood. An empty plate and bowl sat nearby a few leftover bread crumbs and several drops of milk sat on the dishes respectively.

"I'm," _tap tap _"so," _tap-pity tap tap tap _"bored." _tap tap tap!_

His eyes wandered to the phone on the nearby counter, a grin spreading across his face. Of course! Why hadn't he thought of it before? Prank calls were a great time killer as well as something worthy of a hero's time. His tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in excitement as he dialed England's private number. If he was pranked on his other number (oh, what did he call it again? His... fo... eg... whatever, the one he used for "official business"), the stingy nation would probably be much more upset. Hey, just because America enjoyed annoying the fellow country, he still had an ounce, give or take, of respect for him.

Impatiently, America bounced a little in his seat as he listened to the rings on the line.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri-_

_"Hello?" _finally came the familiar British accent.

"Hey, England," America responded, his voice cleverly disguised- he figured if he spoke in the lowest octave possible, no one would ever be able to recognize him. "Is your refrigerator running?"

_"...America, you git! What are you doing?"_

"Then you'd better go catch- Wait! No fair!" The younger nation had been so surprised, he momentarily forgot about his voice. He coughed a little to try and cover up his mistake, "I- I mean," his voice dropping again as he regained his composure, "who is this _America _of which you speak? I'd like to meet him, his name is really sexy and cool and heroic sounding, so-"

_"America, I have caller I.D." _

America did what all heroes do in a situation as such; improvised. "Oh, so this _isn't_ my cell phone then! I found it on a... a subway, yeah! And it's exactly like mine, so I thought that-"

_*Click*_

"...Hello? Hello? England? Heeeellllooooo? Hm. Must have a bad connection."

_4:12 PM_

_Ring. Ring. Rin-_

_"Guten tag, this is Liechtenstein."_

"Hey, Liechtenstein, I wanted to..." America trailed off when he heard several threating gunshots in the background followed by several German curses and more guns.

_"Hello?"_

_"_!"

_5:31 PM_

_"Ve~ Thanks for calling! Italia speaking~"_

"Hey, Italy, I have a question for you."

_"Really? Ask me! Ask me!"_

"Is your refrigerator running?" America figured that even if England hadn't really answered his question, Italy would be stupid enough to respond.

_"...Uhm, I think so. Why?"_

"Then you'd better go catch it!"

There was a moment of silence before Italy gasped. _"You're right! I should!"_

America removed the phone from his ear and stared at it in disbelief, then put it back to his ear and listened to the conversation going on in the Italian household following the prank call (which Italy apparently forgot to hang up after).

_"Romano, where is my jacket?"_

_"How should I know? It's your fucking coat, not mine!"_

_"But I need it~ Can I borrow yours?"_

_"No! And why the hell do you need it? You better not be going to that potato bastard's house again!"_

_"Nuh-uh, I have to catch our fridge!"_

And at that point, America took it upon himself to hang up.

_6:08 PM_

_Ring. Ring._

_"Da? Hello?"_

"Hey, Russia... you're stupid!" America yelled into the phone before ending the call. Then he laughed, because he somehow found the whole sitaution hilarious. "Ahaha! Stupid communists..."

_6:10 PM_

America looked up from his laughing fit when he heard a knock at the door. Curious, because he wasn't expecting anyone for a visit that day, he went and swung open the door. His smile dropped when he saw Russia standing in the doorway wearing a rather large grin, holding his rusty pipe in one hand while he bounced it against the other.

"Amerika wants to play, da? You said so over the phone."

"...well, shit."

**Omi-chan: So, according to my random times, America just prank called everyone on his contact list. This is my fail!attempt at writing humor. I'm sorry for anything inside of you that died while reading this. I hope none of the characters were OOC or anything. Well, besides that, tell me what ya think! I mean, constructive criticism is welcome, but don't make me feel bad about it, okay? ^_^; **

**And on a somewhat unrelated note, how many of you are now proud owners of Season 1 and/or volume 1 of Hetalia? I have both. And the cute bandana that came with the anime =D**

_Review or Russia will come to your house and play._


End file.
